


Performance Issues

by goddessofcruelty



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Marvel Avengers Fusion, Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, F/F, F/M, M/M, Magical Accidents, Magical Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 04:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2454719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddessofcruelty/pseuds/goddessofcruelty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You're supposed to be dead.”</p><p>Lydia turns towards the voice. “Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated,” she says crisply, and then blinks down at her clothing. “Why am I wearing a cheap suit?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Performance Issues

Stiles slams the door to the loft open, “Dudes, I just learned the coolest spell.”

Kira and Lydia exchange looks. “And ladies,” the redhead primly reminds Stiles, but he rolls right on over as usual, walks right over to Derek's DVD player and hits pause.

“Check it out.” Stiles mutters something that makes the air feel like it does just before a storm, and Lydia can hear Malia growling a little bit. She's interested to note that it's Liam who reaches out to grasp her hand, to anchor her, and not the first time. She glances to Kira, who is watching them as well.

Scott and Derek have escaped to the kitchen, and they bring back a couple of pizzas as Stiles finishes his babbling, and then there's a flash of light.

-

“You're supposed to be dead.”

Lydia turns towards the voice. “Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated,” she says crisply, and then blinks down at her clothing. “Why am I wearing a cheap suit?”

“Ha, Agent is finally noticing the tragedy of his life...” Tony ( _No, Stiles_ , a voice whispers in her mind) smirks, and then trails off in confusion. “Her life. Red hair. You're supposed to be bald.”

“Ing, bald _ing_. It makes him look distinguished.” They both turn to the speaker, who flushes and then falls backwards in his ( _her_ ) chair.

Bruce ( _Not Bruce_ ) leans over and looks down at Clint ( _Kira)_. “You okay?”

“Yup, fine, the floor's comfortable,” she says with mock cheerfulness, shifting her arrow quiver so that it's tucked under her neck like a pillow.

“You're an idiot,” Natasha – _Malia –_ says, and then calmly goes back to eating...whatever this crap is.

“Shwarma,” Stiles says suddenly. “Oh my fucking god I put us in the movie.”

“You what? We have a lacrosse game tonight?!” Br – _Liam_ – screeches and starts to turns green. Like really green, not sick to your stomach green.

“Settle down, big guy,” Malia says, calmly putting her feet in his lap and popping another piece of shwarma, “Stiles put us here, he can gets us back.”

Liam blinks a few times and his skin bleeds back to its normal color, and everyone turns to Iron – Stiles.

“Yeah, about that,” he begins, but just then, the door jingles, and they all turn around to see Cap and Thor walking in the door.

“To quote Beyonce,” Lydia mutters, “God is real.”

The skintight fit of the Captain America uniform leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination, and all of them find out just how much being the Alpha has bulked up Scott's frame.

Malia gives a low whistle, “Lookin' good, Alpha,” and then goes contentedly back to her meal.

“You too, Derek,” says Kira as she climbs up from the floor and perches gingerly on her chair again.

The Thor outfit is nearly as bad, and Lydia finds a whole new appreciation for Asgardian armor.

Scott beams, and everyone in the shwarma joint feels a little bit cheered by it, and even Derek's stern glower doesn't detract from it. Instead of grumpy, he looks...majestic.

Lydia's interested to note that Mjolnar still hangs in his fist, and she wonders how the differing rules of magic come into play here. Is he worthy because here he's Thor? Or is Derek, in of himself, worthy, regardless of the blue eyes that mark him a killer in their world?

“Gentlemen,” Lydia says suddenly. “Are you still wolves?”

“Nope,” answers Malia in between bites, popping the 'p'. “First thing I checked.”

“So, we're all human?” Liam wonders, but Stiles' brain must finally kick in from where his eyes have been glued to Captain – _Scott_.

“Technically, Agent, er, _Lydia_ , and I are human. Cl- _Kira_ , I _think_ is human, never read much of your comics, dude, sorry. Capsicle and Widow over there... _damn character bleed_...Scott and Malia, having both been doused with their own countries version of the superserum, although it hasn't been explicitly stated in this particular universe, so the jury's out on her, would technically be meta – wait no, metahumans is DC, this is Marvel, so they're _mutates_ , because their abilities arose from outside rather than inside. Liam is also a mutate as the Hulk.” Stiles takes a deep breath. “And Derek is not human at all, Asgardian, so his traits are simply genetic components of his race.”

Everyone stares at him for a long minute, except Malia, who's stealing food from Liam's plate.

“What are we going to do now?” Kira wonders, and everyone turns to Scott.

Who looks a bit confused, so Lydia steps in. “Perhaps we should consult Jarvis.”

“Ha! You're brilliant, Ag- _Lydia_! Alright, there should be a switch...” Stiles starts poking himself in various places while Lydia rolls her eyes and stalks out the front door, orients herself to the smoking wreckage of Stark Tower.

“Those of you that can fly, please ferry us all to the tower so that we may consult Stiles' invisible friend.”

They all look at each other, and then to Derek and Stiles. Derek rolls his eyes, beckons to Kira, who hops up excitedly. “Piggyback?!”

Derek grumbles, but lets the purple and black leather clad former kitsune climb onto his back, scoops up his cousin who is still eating, and after a few misfire, manages to fly himself and the girls to the tower.

Lydia strides up to Stiles, smacks the back of his head, and then – while he pouts – pushes some buttons on his watch, and then steps back as a somewhat dinged Iron Man suit comes rolling over him.

“Mind giving us a lift now, Stilinski?” She fixes him with a stern look, and he flashes a grateful grin before wrapping an arm around her and Liam and taking off with them as well.

Derek starts to go back for Scott, but Stiles shakes his head. “I got Scotty,” he calls as he leaps into the air.

Lydia sighs and stalks into the building.

“Jarvis!” she calls, but there's no answer. “Dammit, there has to be some sort of protocol. Jarvis, I know you can hear me. My name is Lydia Martin. My friends and I have been thrust into this universe by magical means. We need to figure out a way to get back. Now I get the feeling that you're not allowed to respond until you get some sort of cue from your boss, but it won't hurt to get started working on the problem in the meantime.”

She turns to find Kira staring at her in awe. “What?” Lydia tilts her head, and Kira flushes. “I just – Uh. You're kind of awesome.”

Lydia nods solemnly. “I know.” She turns away and gets everyone organized, all except Derek, who's watching the sky with a furrowed brow.

“Th – Derek?” she asks as she steps outside.

“Everyone who was in the loft is here,” he says quietly. “Except Peter.”

“Maybe it was only the people in the living room?”  
Derek shakes his head. “I don't know, but I think he's here. Somewhere.”

Lydia purses her lips. “Well, that's not good at all.”

-

“Soooo,” Stiles says as he leans against the doorway to the shwarma place, lets his eyes trail over the skintight uniform. “That's a new look for you.”

Scott beams and twirls around. “Looking good, right?”

“Very.” There's something in Stiles' voice that makes Scott give him a second look, and he steps forward, looks into those amber eyes.

“Stiles?” Scott says in wonder, and the other teen nods.

“Yeah, Scotty. Yeah.” He turns away, but a strong hand on his shoulder stops him.

“Stiles? Me too.”

Stiles turns around slowly, tilts his head. “You sure? You never said.”

“I was...confused?” Scott shrugs and shakes his head. “Things are a lot clearer now.”

Stiles crosses his arms and lifts his chin. “This you...or Steve bleeding through?”

Scott crowds him against the wall, surges forward and kisses Stiles breathless, then whispers against his lips. “This is all me, _querido_.”

-

“They're taking forever,” Lydia mutters as she watches the landing, and then arches a brow as she turns to see Malia and Liam have vanished, and Kira is asleep on the couch.

“Derek?” She queries, and he turns his attention to her from where he's been staring off into the sky. “Can you go make sure those two dumbs are alright?”

“No need,” crows a cheerful voice, and Stiles lands, Scott held in his arms bridal style. The Iron man suit rolls off Stiles, revealing kiss-bruised lips.

“ _Finally_ ,” sighs Lydia, “Tell Jarvis to talk to me.”

“Yeah, he won't talk to me either. He's in the suit, too, remember?”

“Try using the arc reactor,” pipes up Kira from the couch – no, from the ceiling, her braids hanging down as she peers upside down at them.

“Kira Yukimura. _What are you doing up there?_ ”

Kira blinks at her precarious position, then lifts her arms to shrug, and promptly falls through the open space, executes a twist in mid air, but manages to land in a crouch on her feet. She flashes Lydia a smug grin. “I'm kind of awesome, too.”

Lydia purses her lips, stalks over and grabs Kira by the ear. “Stiles, fix Jarvis, however you have to do it.” She then drags off a complaining Kira into the hallway.

“Is there a _reason_ you're trying to give me a heart attack?”

-

Stiles locks himself in Tony's lap, hops up on the workbench and muses on the problem, reaching out to pet an insistent robot absently. “Hush, Dummy, it's going to be alright. I'll get him back for you.”

“Hello, Stiles,” comes a clipped voice from the air, and Stiles looks up in astonishment, then whoops for joy. “There's an eighty-seven percent chance that your story is as claimed, and therefore I will open communications, but you will not be allowed to access anything marked 'Sensitive' or higher classification.”

“Dude, that's totally cool, we just need to figure out how to get back. I don't have any magic here.”

“Given that the initial incident was caused by magic, sir, perhaps you ought to consider using someone with magic in this universe.”

“Who did you have in mind, buddy?”

“Loki Laufeyson would seem to have the abilities required.”

-

“Absolutely not. That guy killed me – er, Phil.” Lydia declares, and then pauses. “Why am I not dead, actually?”

“Spoilers,” mumbles Kira, wiping Lydia's magenta lipstick off her lips.

“Alright, Thor, lets go find your creepy – ”

“But hot!”

Lydia half-shrugs. “ – but hot – little brother.”

-

They're all stunned into silence as they look at the man who's brought them to this little golden room.

Derek break the silence. “Boyd?” He whispers as if saying it out loud might break the spell.

Boyd sets down the golden weapon in his hand and pulls Derek into his arms.

“Yeah, Der, it's me.”

It rapidly starts to get awkward as they just keep holding each other, and Lydia is just about to clear her throat when she catches sight of two women in armor, hand in hand, walking along the pathway.

“Ally!” she yells, as Stiles yells, “Catwoman!”

And then there's more hugging all around.

-

“...and then I was Sif, and Erica here was Fandral.”

“The chick I was with was _very_ surprised,” Erica laughs, “But ultimately, very flexible.” She waggles her brows. “In every way.”

Stiles turns his attention away from them, and settles down to where Derek, Boyd, and Scott are discussing their Loki problem.

“..to Thanos a while back in trade from some other favor. It seems he'd taken quite a liking to your little brother the last time he owned him.”

Derek swallows hard and then asks, “Have you looked in on him since you've been here?”

Boyd shakes his head with a grimace. “Heimdall looked once, and I remember that. It wasn't pretty.”

Scott stands up. “We need to find him, now.”

Boyd looks to Derek, who smiles sadly. “Scott's the Alpha now.”

-

“Good news and bad news.” Scott says as he gathers everyone together. “We've found Loki, sort of.”

“Sort of?” Lydia lofts a brow.

“He's Peter,” Derek says flatly, “and he's not alone.”

“I don't understand,” says Kira.

“Peter is Loki now, and it looks like Mr. Argent is with him. Only blue and bald.” Stiles explains and then snaps his fingers. “Nebula, of course, she must be imprisoned too, for betraying her father. Wait, that storyline doesn't add up. She hasn't betrayed him yet. That's not til after Cap 2, or is it concurrently?”

Lydia smacks him upside the back of the head. “Focus, Stiles.”

“We need to get them fast, and you better hope that Peter has Loki's powers, because you'll have maybe ten minutes before Thanos rains hell down on Asgard. That is, if it doesn't wake Odin up.” Boyd's warning has them all looking at each other worriedly, until Scott steps forward.

“Let's go.”

-

Sweat pours off of Boyd's forehead as he battles with the forcefield holding Peter and Chris in place, Derek lending his strength and his familial bond to the target. Allison's on Boyd's other side, for the same reason, and everyone else is standing in a loose circle, watching hopefully.

There's a burst of while light, and then Peter, dressed in black and green leather, and Chris, blue and dressed in skintight maroon fall through the ceiling and crash to the floor. They're both very, very pale.

“Peter,” Stiles rushes over, grasps the older man's shoulders. “Do you have Loki's magic?”

Allison's already got her arms wrapped around her father, and he's crying silent tears.

Peter blinks, tilts his head and then nods. “I think so.”

Stiles directs everyone to hold hands, creating a circle around himself and Peter. He grasps both Peter's hands, noting the winces from phantom injuries, but he doesn't have the time to be gentle.

Peter repeats the words of the spell that Stiles gives him, over and over, as he uses up every ounce of energy he's got left, pours it into the magic, trusting that Stiles' knows what he's doing.

-

Stiles flutters his eyes open to see a dark ceiling, turns his head to see the loft, lit only by the blue screen on the tv. He stretches and then sits up.

“Guys, I just had the weirdest dream.”

Stiles blinks as he sees Chris' head buried in Peter's neck, the beta wolf's arms wrapped tightly around the hunter, Malia and Liam curled up around each other, and Lydia and Kira swapping soft, lazy kisses.

“Whoa,” he says, eyes wide, until Scott tugs him back down.

“No more magic in the loft.”

**Author's Note:**

> In case you can't tell, here's the character list:
> 
> Scott – Steve  
> Stiles – Tony  
> Kira - Clint  
> Malia - Natasha  
> Liam - Bruce  
> Derek – Thor  
> Lydia – Coulson  
> Chris – Nebula  
> Peter – Loki  
> Boyd – Heimdall  
> Erica – Fandral  
> Allison – Sif 
> 
> Please let me know if I need to tag anything.


End file.
